Monday, December 17, 2007

NEVER MIND


Y no lo van a creer, pero estaba viendo un cover de smells like teen spirit tocada en ukulele (muy bueno por cierto) y me topé con esta foto. Es el bebito que sale en la portada del Nevermind de Nirvana.

PEANUTS


Sin palabras

SARCASMO

JE´S JEANS

CASOS VERIDICOS

Esta muy bueno, son diálogos reales en las cortes.
Bizarros del todo.


y quizá este sea el último post del año, así que a mis poquísimos pero muy fieles lectores, les mando un abrazo y mis mejores deseos para el final del 2007 y todo el 2008.
Se portan!!!



Courtroom Testimony

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh...

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Friday, December 14, 2007

CATE BLANCHETT INTERPRETA A BOB DYLAN



I´m not there
, la nueva película de Tod Haynes (es el tipo que utilizó barbies para interpretar a Karen Carpenter) sobre Bob Dylan, también salen Richard Gere, Heath Ledger, Julianne Moore, David Cross, Michelle Williams y Christian Bale. Dicen que está muy, muy buena. Les dejo un pedazo aqui.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

THE NEXT JHONNY CASH

El es Vince Mira, mejor conocido como Joany Mira por su origen latino. Lo descubrieron tocando en la calle en Seatlle, y por su voz tan profunda, dicen que es el próximo Johnny Cash. Echenle un ojo, de verdad canta. Hay mas en You tube y en la página de Ellen Degeneris hay uno muy bueno.


TOP TEN LITERARY DEATHS



Buenísimo, el link en el título. Mi favorito de todos fue Sherwood Anderson, que se murió de una peritonitis causada por tragarse un palillo mondadientes en un coctail. Cabe destacar al más grande irónico, el maestro Bierce, que murió en México reportándose para Don Pancho Villa.

DISABLED PERSON

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

SCAR

fuck

SEPARADOR

Friday, December 07, 2007

FELICIDADES!!!

Y desde aqui, Diálogos Bizarros, le mando un gran abrazo a mi muy querida amiga Carmen, que festeja su cumpleaños. Carmencita, muchísimas felicidades. Ojalá que todavía leas esto hoy. Festeja en grande y me cuentas de la fiesta.
Un abrazo y un beso.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

LABORATORIO EN MOVIMIENTO

Este proyecto está super chingón, no es el primero en su especie, pero si es el primero hecho por latinos. Con una camioneta que sale desde México, llegarán hasta la patagonia, alimentando únicamente su transporte con combustible vegetal (aceite de las papas fritas!!). El video lo explica mucho mejor que yo. Visiten su página y donen. Los donativos son de 100 pesos.


Ok, no me dejo pegar el video. Véanlo éste link.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

DOG



Hay muy buenos letreros, link en el título

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

VALS DE BODAS

Campeones!!!


OK, NO ME DEJÓ PEGAR EL VIDEO, PERO AQUI LES DEJO EL LINK

Monday, December 03, 2007

LAS 8 REGLAS DE VONNEGUT PARA ESCRIBIR FICCION

Para los que se quieren aventurar a escribir, les dejo las reglas de Vonnegut. Valen la pena. Y para los que no han leído a K.V. les recomiendo empezar por Slaughter House Five.


Kurt Vonnegut

Eight rules for writing fiction:

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things -- reveal character or advance the action.

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

6. Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them -- in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

-- Vonnegut, Kurt Vonnegut, Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction (New York: G.P. Putnam's Sons 1999), 9-10.